Tonglen

My wife can finish a thousand piece puzzle in a week without
looking at the box. She'll spend hours each day gradually taking
over the kitchen table with a dazzling picture. The current one is
Halloween themed. I make requests for science fiction or a
mammoth cathedral. I like to watch the sense making at dinner. I
save every crumb from her relentless thumbs and index fingers. By
Friday there's more room for my plate and we're both a little lighter
being closer to her inevitable Eureka. I can see traces of Monday's
meatballs with the bats flapping near the edges. The witches by the
tombstones get their finishing touches. The last of the wood is
covered with shadows in the windows and children dressed as
goblins. There's a horse and carriage belonging to a mortuary. It's
driving away from a remaining patch of table surface. My wife
doesn't like horror movies or the news. But she's so excited when
she reveals one of these pumpkins or friendly ghouls. She grins
with them and taps her shoes at how they're so spooky. Every evil
on the table is sugar coated. Each silly creeper and lurking ghost
offers assurance that they are not a threat. Even though they share
roots with the truth of Nosferatu, that the world is full of things
that will slice and dice you. To ignore that completely is unwise, so
we dress up any dose of hell with a little paradise. I'm nowhere in
the vicinity. I used to watch monster movies, but every history
book I read makes Freddie Kruger look adorable. I have less need
for R rated features. I can see the same chainsaw massacre in my 46
neighbor that I see in the mirror. I got this sight by starting in the
corners and working towards the middle. I leave it incomplete. The
last few pieces I keep on a mantle. I pray to God before them that
my vision never gets clearer. I don't need horror movies. I'm
content with the neighbors trimming the hedges and the screams of
playing children. I can imagine those noises sharing a cellar.

***

Estlack Joseph William's education and professional life is in theater. A founding member of Mugwumpin, he helped create and perform in every one of the company's first 10 shows while also working as freelance actor in the San Francisco theater scene. More focused on writing, he limits his work to acting in film and television. He has been published in SEISMA Magazine (Astrophysics Edition), Raw Art Review, and Zoetic Press.