Invitations to Other Houses

            I don’t think we ever spoke a goddam word to each other, not really, but that’s not why I loved her. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was a breath of fresh fuckin air cause you know how many chatties I’d take with me on these jobs that I’d hafta dump because that’s like the one requirement, like come on, don’t talk during the job, everybody knows that, meanwhile some of these bitches would be over here tellin me bout their day right in the middle of the robbery, sayin what they put in their kedo smoothies like I give a shit, and then they get all huffy when I tell them to shut up cause that’s the one thing, right, that and wearing all black, and, jesus, there was one girl, swear to father god, she had on this black tank top with a pink sports bra underneath, and I was like what the fuck and she was like what do you mean what the fuck and I was like not only are you snow fuckin white, like heavy beam flashlight with your pale ass skin but what’s with the neon push-up, she was like it’s not a push-up, I was like I don’t care if it’s Chris Brown’s fuckin dick wrapped around your tits, I care that it’s pink, and you know what she said, she said it makes me feel cute, I was like the fuck you needa feel cute for, and we end up arguin the whole time in this guy’s living room while he’s passed out on the couch like a few feet away, and I don’t think we even stole anythin that night.
                So, yeah, it feels kinda wrong to compare her to one of my partners or to a girlfriend even, or a human, cumma think of it. I found her on one of my jobs where I was emptyin this house, like three story mansion type shit, a Richie Rich motherfucker, jewelry, silverware, the whole kebab, and I nearly dropped dead when I saw her upstairs, cause she was so quiet, like silent, like I don’t think she could make a sound even if she tried, and she was wearing black, thank god, she looked good in black too, like outfuckinstandin, man, if you had seen those curves you woulda dropped like she was mecca and start praying to her right then and there, and she was hoverin over this guy’s body, if you could even call it that, cause she had drained alla color outta him, and he was just a husk, like those clickety bugs that leave the perfect shell on the tree when they molt, whatta they called? Anyway, she didn’t have any blood on her mouth like in the movies, cause what was the point in being messy? And hell, I always liked a girl that could lick her plate clean, you know what I’m saying, and she was just gorgeous, like natural beauty, like strong, you know? That Olivia Wilde jawline that makes my heart drop to my fuckin pants, and we just look at each other, like that’s it. We didn’t say nothin, just looked at each other, just took each other in, and I never done that with another soul, and I mean soul cause I was like lookin at her soul, man, and I’m pretty sure she was lookin at mine, like I’m pretty sure that’s all she sees, just souls like light with switches she can flip off. Even her eyes are black, man. Eventually, I go bout finishin cleanin this place out, and she just waits till I go, and that was the first time.
                Course I kept thinkin bout her, and I always wondered if she was like one of those things that appear only when you’re thinkin of them, you know, like how you only get a flat tire when you think about gettin a flat that morning, that manifesting shit, whatever, I’m not a spiritual person, you know, burning a bundle of sage to clear the vibe of the place, fuck that. But I was thinkin bout her, and there she was, on my next job, standin outside the window, those black eyes just lookin at me, and I went to the door and let her in and she went upstairs to do her business with the owner, and I continued strikin the place until it was a shack, you know what I’m sayin, and that became our system, simple as that. I break in, then I let her in, and she took care of the owner while I got what I needed. It was just what we did, and there was no need to talk bout it, we both understood. You know how most relationships are one-sided whether you know it or not, only one party really needs the other, and that other is just, like, there, you know, just, like, you know, there, and I think the only good stuff in the world is symbiotic, like, what was it, those little white birds that clean the alligator’s teeth and get protection in return, like that’s a good fuckin deal, especially for those birds, and it’s not really even ground cause nature doesn’t ever have even ground, those gators could chomp those little white birds in a second, you know, but they don’t. Obviously, I was the white birds in the situation, and I could provide somethin, scratch an itch that she couldn’t reach, her part of the deal was not fuckin eatin me. You know the stories about people like her, they say her kind aren’t allowed in less they’re invited. Crazy, right? So I was her fuckin loophole. I can break in, do whatever the fuck I want, I don’t need an invitation, and all she needed was for me to open the door, gentlemanlike, after you milady, and then she makes it so that I don’t have to worry bout wakin anybody up, you know what I’m sayin?
               I don’t know when I started loving her, I just woke up one afternoon, and boom, there it was like a rock in my chest. I started goin on more jobs, just to see her, little date nights every night. She was always there, waitin outside the door. And hey, I’m pretty sure she loved me too. Some nights, after we were both finished, we’d stay in the house a little longer and just look at each other. Sometimes I would put a bracelet I found on her wrist or a necklace around her neck, and she didn’t smile or anythin, I don’t think that was in the program, but, like, she didn’t eat me, and for an alligator, that’s bout as good as a proposal, you get me? One time, and here’s how I know she loved me back, she saved a little blood for me, made a little shimmering pool in her hands and held it out for me. I didn’t hesitate, man. Maybe that is how they propose, who knows. I bent down and lapped this dead guy’s blood out of her palms, like nasty fuckin fetish style, like candlewax who, you know? It slid down my throat fast and sat like a roll of pennies in my stomach. I made sure to lick her hand clean, and I think she appreciated that. I think that’s how we fucked, cumma think of it, I gave her something pretty I stole, and she saved a little blood for me.
                I don’t blame her, you know, because I’da done the same thing, I mean, come on, it’s part of the job, we weren’t doing some Saving Private Ryan bullshit, all of it was a no-no, and if you got caught, you tucked tail and got the fuck out, I woulda done it to her in a heartbeat, she knows that, so I don’t blame her for disappearing when they found me, and I’m just lucky they couldn’t convict me for the murder, but they tried, you know, lord, lord, lord, those motherfuckers tried, even though they found me standing over the fuckin body, they couldn’t convict me cause DNA don’t lie, god fuckin bless it, and if that’s not funny, I don’t know what is, but, listen, all they could tag me with was manslaughter as well as breaking and entering and yadayadayada, and thirty isn’t so bad, I can wait that long, and besides, it gives me a lot of time to imagine that she’s gettin hungry, gettin one hell of an appetite, enough to eat all the fuckers in this prison.
               Maybe I was just one of a dozen fuckin doormen for her, yeah. But maybe I was her only one, and one night, I’ll look out that chain link fence, and there she’ll be, standin and starin like she’d do outside the window, and I’d be the one to let her in, cause I’d be the only one that could let her in, and she’d have a fuckin feast , and I’d get the fuck out, and we wouldn’t have to say nothin, not a word, cause we know each other better’n a person can know another person, and I think that’s more love than most you can get these days.

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Matthew Brandon is a writer/poet/chef currently living in Boston, Massachusetts. He is an alumnus of the Cambridge School of Culinary Arts with a bachelor’s in theater performance. He has recently had poems published in Heron Clan’s Volume V, Quillkeeper’s Press’ Mental Health Anthology, and Free Spirit.